Depression, Depression go away

Does this sound family? Well, it kinda sounds like it is part of a good ole fashion children’s song that I learned when I was young. The only difference is that there’s nothing funny about this title.   Some people think it’s just being sad or having the blues for a day or two, but I have to disagree.  I’ve been putting up with it and trying to “handle” it for most of my life, and it is so much more . Sometimes I can fake it to make it for a short while, but since November and and even the beginning of this month it has been rough. I mean really bad.

The kind of depression that I’m talking about is the kind that totally takes over your life and sends your mind into the outer limits of the known universe. It makes you feel helpless. You don’t want to think.  You don’t read books because they make your head hurt because of thinking too much. You try to get lost in TV shows and movies. You will do anything to take your mind off your life  You don’t want to get out of bed to even go to the bathroom (but of course you have to).  You want the whole world to just leave you alone and just go away.  You have no energy to fight the world around you.  You have lost interest in doing even the smallest things.  You either sleep all the time or if you’re like me you hardly sleep at all.  You curl up on the sofa if you make it out of the bed, and either eat all you can or hardly anything at all.. You go from one extreme to the other.  Your emotions are all over the map.  You feel totally our of control.   You keep “falling” until you get to the bottom or want to commit suicide which is hitting the bottom with only one final outcome possible.

If you are really lucky,  you have some friends that can tell when you are on the slippery slope of depression and will help pull you back from that edge.  If not, here are some tricks to try before you hit the dirt bottom:

  1. The first and foremost thing that you should do is get into a good therapy program with a good medication plan. This is the best way to break the depression cycle. I’m not saying that it will keep the depression away, but it will lower the number of times that you will have to combat the depression.
  2. Changing your Physical activity and lifestyle. The more active you are the less depressed you will be. When you are inactive or not sleeping, your brain cells die, cognitive throughput slows down your brain creates false memories, you lose your filter to your brain, your right superior frontal cortex reduced in volume, and it doesn’t adequately regulate your feelings
  3. Change your way of thinking. Most depressed people have negative thoughts most of the time. A lot of them come from abused or difficult lives. If you can learn to forgive and put behind your past, then you can change your thinking from negative to positive. Start by looking up positive thinking in the Bible. It will not be easy but if you start with just one verse at a time, before you know it you will be thinking more positively in no time.
  4. Get in a routine. Depressed is the enemy to a meaningful life and days blend into each other. It strips away all the structure and framework in your life. You no longer want to go out with friends. In fact, you want nothing to do with anyone much less your friends. If you have a gentle routine that you can get back into, the depression will not be able to keep its hold on you.
  5. Set goals. Depression sits heavy on your heart and you like nothing is going your way. You feel like you can’t accomplish anything. Of course, this does not help your self-image. By setting small “doable” goals that you can succeed at and you will start to feel better about yourself. As you start to feel better, upgrade the goals to challenging yourself.
  6. Exercise. I know this doesn’t sound like something that anyone wants to do when you are depressed and to tell you truth it’s not. I’m not talking about going to the gym and work yourself out on heavyweights, but taking a walk about the apartment complex or block is not that much to ask. You will be surprised by the way that it will help you feel better.

Just by using one or two of these tricks can help you get out of the depression sooner. They have worked for me and I have 29 years experience dealing with Bipolar II-depression. It’s not easy, and I’m not telling you it is, but you can deal with it. My prayers go with you.

OOOOPPPPSSSS!!!!! Not Again??????

It’s happened again, I think!!!! I’m not sure right now. I hope not because it could mark the end of a very dear friendship that I would hate to loose. If it did happened again then this time we know at least two things for certain. First of all, I didn’t try to commit suicide this time just like before. Secordly, we know what caused it this time which is most likely the same reason that it happened in 2011. It was caused by my new pain medication (Oxycodone/Acetaminophen 10/325). I guess my pain medication doesn’t like playing with my mental drugs.

Now let me start at the beginning of this tale. Back in 2011 around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, my 12 year old daughter had to call an ambulance for me not once but twice due to my getting very sick and out of my mind but the hospital was not sure of why. It was later determined that I had undergone an Altered State of Consciousness caused by a medication mix-up where my conscious mind went to sleep and stayed asleep while my subconscious mind came awake and had a “good old time”. My ex-husbands kept saying that I had attempted suicide which I firmly stood against.

This Christmas, it happened again. I am just now coming out of the worst of it and don’t really know what has happened over the last three weeks. I remember getting the new pain medication, and taking the first dose. After that not much at all until this morning. What I do remember is more like pictures instead of video. I remember a hospital or two. Something about the police and falling down the stairs – a lot. A need to taking care of the animals, but not really wanting to. I must have been in a few fights because I am tender all over my body. Even my head hurts. My ribs on the left side are really tender, but I don’t know how or why. My room is a total mess, but I’m going to get to cleaning it soon.

I pray that 2019 doesn’t continue the way it has started.

Thank You!

Today, I have to tell you that I’m thankful for a lot of things in my life. Let me start with the basics. I am thankful for God who created me in His own image.  I’m thankful for Jesus who died on the cross for my sins. This means that I can ask for forgiven and become Holy again in the eyes of God.  My name is now written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

I’m very thankful to every one of you that read my blog.  You take time out of your busyness to read what I said that day. You might even comment on it as well and start a conversation.

I’m thankful to my family, friends and my church family.  Y’all have taught me so much so much and have helped me grow in Walk with the Lord. You have helped me out when I needed it. Eric and Bonnie, Mark and Kitty, Ellen and Wylie, Barbara, Ms. Annie, Jennifer, and Michelle just to name a few.  You know who you are.

I am thankful for my ex-husbands for making me the better person that I am today.   Eric, you showed me the truth of and gentle side of real love, and what it means to be a true Southern Gentleman. I’m just sorry that I threw it away. Philip, you brought out a strength and determination in me that I didn’t know I had. You opened my eyes to several different worlds and I learned a lot. Paul, you supported me no matter what crazy idea I had. You got me to go back to college, and I now have my AS in Accounting.  Some members of my family thought I wouldn’t go back to college much less get a degree.

These are only a few of the people and the that I am thankful for. If you are not mentioned I am sorry, but you are loved as well.

Smile! It’s a New Day in Fairyland

I know that I have been remiss in my writing to you. I made you a promise when I started this blog. I told you that I would write often and the last couple of months I only posted once that I can remember. I can tell you that last month was a bad month for me with depression. It didn’t help that at every time I looked at the blank screen, I got a headache because I could not think of but a few words to put on the screen. I didn’t want to do you the disservice of just a few words so instead, I didn’t do anything. Now I think I did you the more wrong, and for that I am sorry.

Well, Today it hit me like a train. Do you like questions and opinions. I love talking and giving my opinion. Also, how about I ask questions and answer them here on the blog. If you have a different answer, a way of handling something, or opinion, then you can comment and tell me, I’ll read them, then I’ll post them to the blog, and reply to them so we can get a real conversation going . This way you, my readers, can have a real say so in the blog. Maybe we can even spark a real DEBATE!!!!!!!

Now I will still write other pieces. You hopefully will comment on them as well. I love your comments, and I want them. They”re the only way I know how I am doing with the blog. I need your comments you could say

It has come to my attention that people have found “spieiling” errors in my posts. I try very hard to spell correctly. I have a spell checker on my computer, but that is not to say it’s without fault. If you find a spelling mistake in one of my posts, please comment with the word (first how I spelled it – and – correct spelling) example (bieing – being). Spelling has never been my strong suit.
I want you to know that I am a Christian and a Lady, and I will respect your opinion whether is differs from mine or not. I do expect to be treated with respect as well and talked to in a tone of decency. I will not post anger, hateful, crude, sex filled comments. This will not turn into a venting or nasty blog.
My basic belief is that God is my Father and Jesus is His Son and his death saved me from Death. I have accepted Jesus into my life as my Lord and Savior and asked God to forgive me of my sins. As it turns out, I practically have to do that every day due to the fact that I’m not perfect.

I may not agree 100% with the opinions of President Trump, but I stand behind him and our government, and our judicial systems though they may be flawed. I still believe that this is the best country in the WORLD! Finally, I know I’m going to hear about this one, but I am a REPUBLICAN through and through.

Now that we have that out of the way……..Let’ s talk!

My Favorite

You have them in every family: your favorite brother, sister, uncle, aunt, or even cousin. I could go on, but I won’t. (Lol) Mine happened to be an uncle and aunt pair on either side of my family. One that has been around me since I was little and one that I’ve just really noticed while I’ve been an adult. Let’s call the first one Charles and Leigh Ann and the other ones George and Dana.

Charles is not much older than me and has therefore has been more of a big brother to me than an Uncle.  Leigh Ann turned out to be Charles’ forever wife and came into my life more like when I was 10 years old.  They had a long engagement which I loved because even though Leigh Ann was a little older than Charles she still treated me like a little sister. This I thoroughly enjoyed.  I knew that I could talk my trouble her about anything that was of a womanly topic

Being an only child had not been much fun. I mean come on. I could not get away with anything. I couldn’t play the blame game. For example, Mom cleans the bathroom and I mess it up. Mom gets mad. “Cheryl! What did you do to this bathroom?” I can’t say, “Well, I didn’t do it. Tory did it!” Mom did not even believe in my invisible friend doing things and getting me in trouble. I was always getting into trouble, for stuff I did because I didn’t have anyone else to blame it on. It was not fair. But as my family says, “Who told you life was fair?”

Charles and Leigh Ann are down to earth Christian people that will help anyone if they can. They have always been there when I needed someone to talk to about anything. They have truly been on my side throughout growing up and even into adulthood. When I felt my world spinning around and  coming apart at the seams they have been there and talked me back from the ledge. I have not always done what I’ve said I would do, and I’ve done wrong towards them in the pasts, yet they have still stood by me. Please forgive me for the way that I have treated you in the past.   Thank you, Charles and Leigh Ann for all the things you have done for me. I love Y’all and you are always in my prayers.

Now onto George and Dana: These are two people that have surprised me in a lot of ways. My dad and I have had problems all of my life, and I am sorry that we could not solve those problems before he pasted away in 2011. Out of the blue George and Dana started talking to me recently and come to find out we have a lot to say to each other that I at least did not know. One of the things I learned that really surprised me was that they actually cared about me and was interested in what I was doing these days.

I have not always treated them right, and for that I’m sorry.  Please forgive for that.  Y’all are special, God-fearing people.  Before six months ago, I only talked to them at family reunions or functions which are not happening anymore now that my grandparents are dead. You see they like the Steelers or the Eagles. I don’t know which one. I’m a Bronco’s fan myself. (LOL)

It’s good to have family that you talk to regularly. You never know when one or all will be dead and out of your life. Last week, I got a some bad news about Charles. I started praying for my him and my whole family.  I’m posting this with the knowledge that he is doing a lot better. Praise be to the Lord. Pray does work. Pray and watch God show up and show out!

Let’s be Still for a Change!

 

Exodus 14:14

“The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still.”

and

Psalm 46:10

“Be still and know that I am God!

I will be honored by every nation.

I will be honored throughout the

world.”

The above scriptures both talk about being still for God, but you are being still for two completely different reasons.

Exodus 14:14 talks about how the you don’t have to do the fighting because the Lord will do the fighting for you, all you have to do is be still. Stop fighting. Let the Lord do the fighting for you.  Stand down. Lay down your arms.  Back off. Take a vacation.  STOP THE FIGHTING! BE STILL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE AND LET GOD HANDLE IT!

Psalm 46:10 talks about being still in Spirit and getting to know the Spirit of God.  It is about tuning the world out and letting God in.  The only way that this can happen is by being still and letting yourself be quite.  You have to be able to concentrate on one thing at a time and that would be God.  CAN YOU BE STILL? SILENT?  CAN YOU LET GOD IN?

Is it really such a foreign concept in today’s society to be still?  To slow down? To stop and do nothing for a while?  Even for a minute? Can you do one thing at a time?  I know that it is hard for me to admit that it is hard for me to do just one thing  at time, but I am getting better at it the more I try.

You should try doing one thing at a time some time.  Try praying to God for 5 minutes without doing anything else one day.  When your mind starts to wonder, bring it back to God.  Keeping doing that over and over until your mind stops wondering. Pray to yourself or out loud. It doesn’t matter. Just spend time with your Heavenly Father only.  It’s not as easy as it sounds in our fast pace world unless you put forth the effort to do it.

You know what’s great about putting forth the effort to be still,  you let God do the fighting for you and you get to  know who God is which will allow you to grow more than you ever thought you could in ways that you could never have dreamed of in a million years. Great things will follow you if you let God have the reins of your life because God is working a great work in you, and He will be working it  until the day that Christ Jesus returns. Look it up for yourself.  It’s written right there in the Bible in black and white and red.  Jesus said it in RED so it MUST BE TRUE!!!!!  Not only are Jesus’s words in Red but they are covered in his blood.  You and I are covered in his blood.  Let us all be still together and Let God do His thing!

The Almighty Comma

“,” What is up with this little piece of punctuation?  It’s not real big! It’s actually quite small. But it gives people problems all over the place.  It is one of the most over/under used pieces of punctuations in the books.  Either a person over uses or under uses, but not both, and no one knows why. (I heard that on the radio) I just got through reading a nice little blog at Daily Writing Tips.  It was about using the comma in the right way to save your writing.

Can you figure out what’s wrong with these sentences?  And “YES!”, there is something wrong with every one. Take a good hard look at each one, and you will be able to come up with what is wrong. Here is your chance:

  1. If you think that you can get the drop on me you are highly mistaken.
  2. Sara and Bella are going to the store, then go get their nails done.
  3. It is a constant battle in keeping the ocean from taking the sand, and wherever possible, building up the dunes as we can.
  4. I think movies, like Gone with the Wind, are a great example of cinematography and sparks discussions about our history.
  5. I have to get this information to Betty at her home, by noon, or she will look stupid at the meeting this afternoon.

The Answers:

  1. If you think that you can get the drop on me, you are highly mistaken.
    1. As you read the sentence you know that something is wrong.  Read it again, slowly this time, and you will find that there are two parts to this sentence.
    2. Once part is a partial sentence and a the main concept.
    3. Does the partial adds meaning to the sentence? If yes, then you need to set it off with a comma.  If no, then you add an end punctuation and let it stand on it’s own.
  2. Sara and Bella are going to the store then go get their nails done.
    1. As you read this sentence, you see that you have two verbs and two subjects only on one side of the connector (then).
    2. Since the subject of the second part of the sentence is in the first part there is no comma needed.
  3. It is a constant battle in keeping the ocean from taking the sand and, wherever possible, building up the dunes as we can.
    1. It looks like they are trying to intend a parenthetical phase, and it didn’t come across right.
    2. The comma is also  saying that there are two complete sentences here which is not true.
    3. The sentence says the parenthetical phase is “and wherever possible”, but it really is “wherever possible”.
    4. The test for a parenthetical phrase is that you temporarily take one word out at a time and see if the sentence still makes sense until you have tested every which way and then you will know which way to go.
    5. Since “and” is not part of the Parenthetical phrase, the comma comes after and another one comes behind the phrase to set it apart from the sentence.
  4. I think movies like Gone with the Wind are a great example of cinematography and sparks discussions  about our history.
    1. The commas setting “like Gone with the Wind” tell us that the sentence can do without it.  Can it?  NO!
    2. It is referring to a type/category of films and is therefore essential to the sentence
    3. It needs no commas because it needs to be an active part of the sentence.
  5. I have to get this information to Betty at her home by noon, or she will look stupid at the meeting this afternoon. 
    1. The using of commas in the listing of the first three items is not necessary and makes things messy.
    2. The use of the verbs “to”, “at”, and “by” move the sentence along.
    3. Because there are two complete sentences with an or, you place a comma before the or and that is all.