My friend and I were watching TV and eating Dove candy one night when I came across the following quote in a Dove candy wrapper.
Difficult roads often lead to Beautiful destinations.”
Jetta L from Massachusetts
It really spoke to me because I have had a not so good life for the most part. I have gone through physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and verbal abuse as well as being homeless twice, raped three times, had an abortion because of a rape, Bipolar II, PTSD, Schizo-affective Disorder, trying to raise my kids as best as I could while being single after my last two divorces trying to take care of my mental issues and myself all at the same time – Unfortunately, the kids were the ones to suffer more than I did, living in a park, living in the streets, trying to hold down a job while dealing with almost suicidal depression, being on drugs (been cleaned since 24January1999) – Crystal Meth and Cocaine, (Not Crack,) and also moving from family member to family member because I was such a rebellious and hard to handle child. (It was not fun.) I would not listen to anyone, especially if you were a man. My granddad would say that I could only learn things through the University of Hard Knocks. At first I thought it was a real university , like Ole Miss, but then I learned the truth, meaning that I was hard headed and could only learn by doing and making the mistake myself. No one could just tell me about how to do or not to do something. I had to learn it on my own.
Being the red flag in the tug of war of hatred between my two families didn’t help me at all. You would think that I would be good at least on negotiation, but sadly no. I am just good at staying in the background and working behind the scenes. Now, I’m only in touch with a 2-4 members on both sides, but for the most part, I’m the black sheep and not to be associated with them at all. They don’t know how hard that is on me. Don’t get me wrong. I still love them and lift them up in prayer ever day, but I would like to talk to them and see what they’re up to every so often. I tried with one of my cousins a couple years ago, but it ended almost as soon as it began. I guess some of it is my part because I have not stayed in touch, but now I don’t know their numbers except one and I have tried It several times with no call back as of right now.
I am finally on good medication and in a good place. I am in therapy again, but this time I really like this person and the way that the sessions are going. I knot that this is not an over night process, but then again it didn’t happen all in one night. It took years for all the stuff to happen and affect me so I guess that it will take me a long time to get me free. I am facing my demons head-on now, and my difficulties are turning into beauty. I finally like myself and know that God loves me. I know that God is my Father and Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Jesus loves me so much that if He had to die again just for me, He would. I know that I am going to heaven, and I am trying to serve Jesus in this lifetime as well.
You know Jesus and God love you too. Jesus would climb back on that Cross and die again for you. Just for you! That says a lot. You are worth that much to Him. God is the Father of all Mankind. He is the Creator. He spoke everything into creation, not just some things! Jesus is His Son and part of the Godhead. His was a virgin birth. He taught for 3 years then died on the cross between two thieves. One was saved and went to heaven with Jesus and the other one didn’t. Jesus was raised from the dead three days later and after revealing himself to many people, He went up to Heaven and sits at the right hand of God.
Do you want to go to Heaven or do you want to be like the other thief and try to swim in the Lake of Fire?
Turn your Difficulty into Beauty with God and Jesus Christ!